How about a class in relationships?
 


By Rhona Raskin
From UnderWire

“Most people receive very little training on how to live effectively and harmoniously with themselves and others. Without proper training on how to make wise choices in one’s life, the chances are very slim anyone will make them.” — Sidney Madwed 

The incentive to know a certain type of guy has not changed in thousands of years. But when was the last time you were tested on the factors affecting happiness and contentment in life? Who pointed out to you that your bad choice of lovers can be traced to influential people early in your life? I bet it was your therapist. Perhaps we should all study predictable human dynamics so that we can lose that “Oh I can’t believe it happened” look before there are three kids and two lawyers involved.

It amazes me that we don’t teach children what makes relationships tick. In school, we bend to pages filled with challenging equations about speeding trains on steep inclines. Maybe this teaches us how to think and reason, but I’ve never been terribly grateful for my understanding of vectors and trajectories. Square roots, anyone? Not until college is psychology offered, and even then we study things like an orphan duck’s predisposition to imprint on a gangly giraffe and follow it around in the belief that it is Mommy. How practical. 

Why not talk about human relationships? Why not tell it like it is in kindergarten? As in: “The reason we like to be with friends and family is that humans are social and like to feel accepted and secure. Sometimes, because we like to be in a group, we pick silly reasons to be with people, even when they don’t treat us well.”

What is our fear about dishing the goods a little earlier in life, when we could really use the input? Are adults are afraid of being one-upped? Do we worry that a child who understands attachments and feelings will be more difficult to control? Ah-ha. Maybe he will be smarter than his parents. Perhaps she will see the truth in her parents’ shaky marriage. 

The capitals of several African and Eastern European countries have changed so often in the last 15 years that scoring 10-out-of-10 on a pop quiz has little long-term value. The best educational plan I can think of is to expose children to the well-kept secrets of what makes us tick — the domain usually reserved for professionals like psychiatrists, psychologists and counselors. As a therapist, I believe my business is to work myself out of a job — to get fired. The best way to do that is to pass on what I know about the human animal. Penguins do this cute little drop-the-stone ritual and then mate for life. Unfortunately, humans often pick unrealistic partners and then later experience a mountain of pain and puzzlement. They are more likely to throw stones than to cherish them, penguin-style.

No one explains to us how straight A’s will make us better at picking partners. (Oh yes, I forgot — rich equals happy.) Money is the sauce that makes every dish taste magnificent. (Tell that to the couple engaged in battle royals over their assets in court.) Or examine the lonely CEO who has lost touch with his family, sitting next to a laptop and a stack of industry journals. Remember that the computer not only gives us new and faster ways to connect, but also a bigger pool of people to be estranged from and dumped by. 

So let’s teach children the elements of attraction and connection. Quick quiz: Which of these thoughts best expresses love? 

      A. When I am in the presence of this person, I really like who I am. 

      B. He’s really hot and he has a new convertible.


Let’s expose the dusty, predictable principles that move us — the desire to belong, the wish to feel secure, the desire to be admired, the longing to feel warmth. Then let’s pinpoint the pitfalls on the map of relationships: lack of self-esteem, shortage of encouragement and scarcity of knowledge. Let’s say, “OK, class, today we are going to look at the concept of 'belonging' and how we all want to feel it.” 

First, let’s examine some dubious techniques: 

  • Picking on another person to score points with a group you want to join. 
  • Pretending to be something you aren’t, such as brave or reckless or a direct descendant of Martin Luther King Jr. 
  • Bribery — like inviting kids you don’t really like to your party so the others will come. 


Childhood is a maze with no markers. Kids are often hostages of the adults in their lives — their parents and teachers. When they are little and we have their attention, let’s jam some Life 101 material in, alongside the predicates and pronouns. 

Here’s a thought: Add a problem to the math exam that asks you to plot the next three menstrual periods of Girl A, including days of ovulation, and compare the data to Girl B. Girl A’s cycle is 26 days long and Girl B’s cycle is 32. On what days can A or B conceive? Now there’s math with sass, and useable too: Most grown women have only a vague and inaccurate sense of the answer to this problem, and half of all babies are unplanned. 

As novelist Tom Robbins says, "If little else, the brain is an educational toy." Education as a game instead of a punishment — great concept. 

There is a wonderful story of a nun who taught a difficult class of kids. One day she asked them all to stop, make a list of all the kids in the class, and then to write down one thing special or likeable about each kid. She then transcribed the anonymous notes and handed each student a sealed list of what was said about him or her. 

Years later, meeting at a funeral, many of those people still owned that list of compliments — folded in wallets, tucked into drawers. In a good system, all children would have a list of what others appreciated about them, however tiny the comments. Children are critiqued and graded, but rarely elevated to any status of recognition for kindness, generosity, overcoming all odds or just being a quality human. There are academic stars and athletic heroes, but there are other stars, too. Let’s recognize those qualities and those skills that make healthy, well-balanced relationships in life.

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